Top 10 List of Advice for the Newly Diagnosed

By the women of the Step Ahead support group

1. Get advice from at least two oncologists after you get your pathology report. Pick someone you like and respect as this is the doc you'll spend the most time with. Find medical people who will listen to you and at the same time are competent.

2. Always take a listener to every doctor's meeting and ask that person to take notes. Review what was said later, adding to the notes.

3. Get to know your tumor. Find out everything there is to know about your type of cancer. Know what your pathology report means; get someone to explain it you.

4. Take control. No one doctor is guiding you. Your family doctor may not be of help now. Power = knowledge of conventional and alternative treatments.

5. Explore information about your cancer online, library, with cancer professionals. Ask for help in determining what the best authoritative websites and avoid those touting magical "cures." Online forums can be helpful, but remember that your tumor is unique. Your case is not exactly like anyone else's and your treatment won't be, either.

6. Reach out to your women friends for support. Husband and children may have no frame of reference here. Find a support group where you can talk candidly about your feelings and your treatment with women who won't be scared off. Find education, advocacy and support from competent, compassionate people.

7. Find out about alternative treatments (homeopathy Chinese medicine, ayurveda). These might be helpful after chemotherapy. Find a practitioner who can advise you as some treatments may interfere with traditional drugs you are taking. (Oncologists often know little about this.)

8. Keep your life as normal as possible. If you work, continue. Yes, you'll miss a few days but it helps keep things in perspective. Stay positive, strong and don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help.

9. Friends and relatives are eager to help you. Accept their offers. This is not a time to be proud or to be a martyr.

10. Try to keep a smile on your face and stay as positive as you can. Rely on friends, family, God. If you are a believer, pray. Relax. Breathe deeply. Remember the statistics are in your favor for long-term survival. Surround yourself with positive and happy people. Remember, this too shall pass.